Thursday, September 13, 2007

Mystery Date!

Whoa. There was a mystery date last weekend and I almost missed it. A good one, too. I’m basically going to excerpt the whole thing, but you can also view it here.

“We had a nice time except she wasn’t very free with me. She even refused to reveal her occupation and her surname. She claimed she was a student in some college but I didn’t believe her. I shall carry out my own private investigation to establish what she does for a living. Otherwise, I really had lovely time in her company.

“Brother, that girl has a figure that can sweep any man off his feet. She moves with a catwalk that left me breathless, simply beautiful! Her cute attire blended so well with her beautiful figure. I call it ‘figure eight.’ I loved her disarming smile, romantic eyes and sweet tender voice. She sat in an appetising posture that gave me a chance to drool at brown thighs. Eh eh eh…! Her smooth skin was so tempting that I wished we could spend a night together. Ha! Ha! Haaa….! I was taken up! She is lovely, friendly and sexy.

“In fact, I am planning to take her for another date.
“We need to be in some romantic hide out for at least three days. But I still want to know her surname and her occupation. I am concerned about the surname because of the risk of dating my clan mate.

“Otherwise, she is a girl I would love to be with. In fact, after this interview I am going to call her.”

Now Gloria’s favorite movie is Spiderman 3, so she either hasn’t seen very many movies or there’s something wrong with her.

“It was a nice date but with several disappointments. Raymond began by talking about his work and I found that boring. When he changed, it was about the places he wanted us to hang out. But the problem was he wanted instant intimacy and such discussion rubbed me the wrong way.

“He said he was willing to drop his girlfriend to be with me. When I told him I was in an intimate relationship with a caring guy he said there was nothing wrong with cheating on my guy. Can you imagine? I can never cheat on my boyfriend because he is simply perfect. I found Raymond’s behaviour very strange.

“He was forcing me to take more beer than I wanted. He also kept persuading me to go with him to his place even after I had told him that I wasn’t interested in that. On the first date?! Horrible! Relationship is a process; you don’t get everything on day one. His hands couldn’t rest in one place. I was so embarrassed by his constant touch that I told him to stop it but he kept forgetting. (takes a deep breath) Oh!

“He gave me his contacts but I don’t think I am ready to call him. I don’t mind casual friendship but he seems to be out for instant intimacy, not mere friendship. I am not ready at all to walk down that path. It is therefore safe to avoid any future contacts with him.”

What’s confusing to me is why either of them chose to go on a date if they’re seriously involved with someone else. I get Raymond, but Gloria (with her “simply perfect” boyfriend)? Is just the free dinner? Are they really after friendship? The glory of appearing in the New Vision?

Gloria is an artist and her surname was printed in the paper, so obviously Raymond was going to find out eventually. Also, when asked the question, what makes you laugh, she answered, “Jokes.” Go figure.

I like Raymond because he answered, “If my girlfriend tells me the truth.” At least there was a little thought put into it. At least he has a personality, even if he is a dog. The stock answer for the question of what makes people laugh seems to be “Funny movies,” or better yet, “Comedies.” Or “when someone says something funny.” Maybe it’s just a bad question.

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