Pic of the Week from the New Vision

"READY FOR CHOGM: A worker of Sekanyolya systems Ltd installing street cameras at Clock Tower in Kampala ahead of CHOGM. Several cameras will be installed in most parts of the city."

And what will these cameras do exactly? Granted that there's electricity and they're functioning correctly?

I can think of SO many other things that would be at the top of my list ahead of traffic cameras, if I were in charge of CHOGM. They still have more than half the roads in the city to repave, for example. But obviously I'm not in charge of CHOGM...

Love, According to the New Vision

As far as I can understand it, this article was written under the misguided premises that a) all women want to marry a man and b) all men are worth marrying. There are many other misguided premises inherent in his argument, but I'll let you figure them out for yourselves.

Do Women Benefit More From Polygamy? By Dr. Herbert Mugarura
The New Vision, July 14, 2007

“Polygamy may be criticized but it actually forces men to face up to their responsibility to protect and provide for their women and children.
A forced monogamy is responsible for surplus of women that may lead to prostitution, hatred and quarrels, to intense jealousy in women, and mere physical relationships without the required intimacy and related evils as diseases, abortion, illegitimate children, adultery, and witchcraft.
Polygamy takes account of an excess of women to men which occurs in most areas. Monogamy forces them to become lovers of married men, be prostitutes, go with single or married men and possible end up becoming single mothers. It is a choice of eternal chastity on one hand and loneliness, childlessness and mutual support on the other.
…Polygamy can help those women who want to be in a monogamous marriage. If everybody is better with polygamy, who will be interested in prohibiting it? Who gets hurt if polygamy is allowed? Obviously not the women who are forced to be single! Not single mothers! Not prostitutes and obviously not the deserted women!
…A woman is generally much more particular than a man in giving her love, while the normal man tends to be attracted to coitus by nearly every more or less young and healthy woman. A woman is more sexually focused and it is rare for her to experience sexual desire for several men at once. Even the prostitute has her special fancy man.
In a way, a woman’s monogamous nature plays well into the polygamous argument of man. It is said that woman’s natural jealousy is not at a man’s loving another but at his forsaking her or the future threat of this. And polygamy takes care of this concern.”

Has this guy ever had a girlfriend? For the full atrocity, go here.

Burned

In my inbox, which turned out to be from N., sadly:

Dear Ms. Harlow,

Thank you for your Letter to the Editor regarding the reinstatement of our weekly feature, Mystery Date. We appreciate your interest in this feature, and are glad to inform you that we did not discontinue our Mystery Date feature, but merely suspended it for a few weeks, as our Intimate section editor was on leave. However, she has returned, and this Saturday will mark the return of Mystery Date. We hope you will continue reading in future weeks.

Incidentally, our entire staff got a chuckle out of your plea:

"The swing under the stars! Oh, how I miss the swing under the stars. Please say you’ll bring Mystery Date back."

As a small reward for your creativity, we have attached a sneak photo preview of the couple from this week's Mystery Date. We hope you enjoy!

Thanks again for reading.

Regards,
New Vision Editorial Team

Letter to the New Vision

Dear New Vision,

I look forward to your Mystery Date feature every Saturday and have been greatly disappointed these last few weeks not to find it in your newspaper. The apprehension each person brings to the evening, the great feeling with which each one relates getting to know the other, how they enjoy Kyoto’s comfortable atmosphere—these are the highlights of your “Intimate” section, not anything Dr. Love has to say.

The swing under the stars! Oh, how I miss the swing under the stars. Please say you’ll bring Mystery Date back.

Hannah Harlow
Kampala

The End of Mystery Date?

For three weeks running there has been no Mystery Date column in The New Vision. It’s breaking my heart.

In lieu of that, I leave you with a Father’s Day message from that same paper.

“We Also Deserve Gifts” by Hilary Bainemigisha, aka Dr. Love
“We, fathers, are wonderful people, too little is understood about us because most poets pay tribute to mothers. But we are a necessary engine behind the movement of children from our groins, to the womb, and finally, to the tomb. We pay the bills, preserve the family energy and image, protect, provide and police our little empires. We are perhaps the reason why the family kept together as a unit, respectful and successful; why you did not drop out of school to start your journey to self destruction and why your mother no longer remembers her maiden name…I am talking about responsible dads who have realized that it is increasingly difficult to be a dad these days…Our forefathers sowed in fertile land, but we have to really work hard to get our seeds past female goalkeepers…Our grandies had to be picked from drinking parties to be told that their wife has delivers and the would reply: ‘Which one? The fourth or the second?’ Today, you have to be there in the labour ward massaging her back and wondering how devastated your favourite body part will be thereafter…Most of the privileges that came with being a father have gone! We cannot marry as we please, our voices are no longer the final word in the home and we cannot beat anyone for it – not even your child – it breaks the law! Men are marrying our daughters without paying dowry, our wives leave us when we become broke and the children are dying before we do. In our inner soul, we cry, we fear, we hunger and we thirst. Perhaps the only worry you are likely to notice is thirst. Otherwise, we have to wear fur that deceives you that the monkey does not sweat. In public, we act warrior and…what did the president say? A Revolutionary cannot get devastated. Lastly…No, there is no lastly, just bring my gifts, it is our day.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about at the end there and while many of the things Dr. Love mentions don’t exactly stir much sympathy in me, I will take this opportunity to say: I love you, Dad. Thanks for doing all those dishes, for running around with me on the soccer field and the mountain, for watching bad movies on Sunday afternoons - you make a mean peanut butter and bacon sandwich - and too many other things to name here.

A Sad Saturday

There is no Mystery Date in today’s The New Vision. I can only leave you with an excerpt from the Dr Love column by Hilary Bainemigisha:

“I was stuck in a traffic jam when this gorgeous woman approached me with a CHOGM [Commonwealth Head of Government Meeting, to take place in Uganda in November] smile, asking if I could help her do something on her car…So I parked and followed her bouncing bums to a 2000 model VW Golf.

The problem was that the car’s battery was down and she wanted to jump-start the engine, but did not know how and did not want to trust ‘anybody’ with her car. To her amazement, I cranked the beauty into life and came out a ‘thank you very much’ richer.

So, she was not a con-woman after all, but a peace loving citizen like you and me, except that she was not smart enough. Smart not in clothes, but wit—and that was why we never exchanged business cards.

If ladies are going to drive cars only men used to drive, they must learn the survival instincts that come as a package for all drivers.

There is nothing unladylike about a female changing a tyre…Modernity has evolved into a system where work and roles have to cut across gender prescription.

Women used to cook for us, but go to hotels and tell me if most cooks are not male. In the army, there are female field commanders. Cab (taxi) drivers do not have to be male. Even in sports, football, boxing, netball and car rallies stopped being gender-exclusive long time ago.

When I grew up, the system did not allow me to enter our kitchen. But today, I cannot demarcate my house into go and no-go areas for either sex.

A boy, who can cook, do laundry, cultivate, tend to livestock, navigate computers and find his way easily around relationships is an all rounder with success printed all over his face.

So, ladies who do not know how to jump-start your cars, return next week when you know what lies in your car’s bonnet and what it does.

Do not allow your mechanic to give you a seat and a soda when he is working on your car. Be there with him asking why he is doing what he is doing.

You may not take me seriously now but when you grow wiser, you will look for my number and thank me.”

Hilary makes some fair arguments, to be sure. I agree that women should know how to change a tire and jump start their car. But I don't believe every male driver in this country knows how do both of those things. Frankly, they hardly know how to drive at all. And I don't think it's fair to judge a woman's whole intelligence on whether or not she can do them. Maybe the particular female Hilary ran into was too busy learning from her mechanic because she was studying to become a doctor, or running a bank, or something else that only men used to be allowed to do.

Cultural Differences

We read one of two newspapers here, depending on what’s available. Our preference is The Daily Monitor, which seems to be a little bit more liberal (but is actually more poorly written). Our second choice is The New Vision. However, The New Vision is a must on Saturdays because they have an “Intimacy” section, which always includes the column “Mystery Date,” in which the paper sends two people out on a blind date and then interviews each person afterwards. Here is an excerpt from last week’s from the guy’s, Herbert’s, perspective (typos, grammatical errors theirs, not mine):

“Anxiety gripped me as my heart pumped in anticipation…While I waited, anxiety hit me again and raised my pulse rate…When I set my eyes on her my breath was taken away. She enveloped me in a warm bare hug. It was like a reunion of long time friends marked by instant attraction…I enjoyed every bit of it with deep passion…I admired the beauty of her glowing eyes as she looked at me. I plan to write her a love poem The beauty that lies within and I told her about it. I shall then take her out to a quiet environment and recite it sweetly to her while gazing straight in her eyes…”

They are often this dramatic, but last week’s date was sort of disappointing in comparison to others I’ve read.

The real treat in last week’s “Intimacy” section was an interview with Pastor William Muwanguzi and his wife, Pastor Athina Muwanguzi. They have been married for five years. Here are some of the choice snippets:

WILLIAM
What would you do if you caught her in adultery?
Since our marriage is based on a Christian background, I would follow scriptures not emotions. But I do not believe she can do it. Surely, what would Athina look for in another man? I think I would have detected such queer behaviour in her before.
What have you learnt in marriage?
That man and woman are interdependent. Much as a man needs a woman; no woman can live happily without a man.
Do you like it when she kneels to greet or give you something?*
Of course. I do. Every man would want his wife to be submissive. However, I never force her to do anything.

*It is a common practice for women to kneel when greeting a man, though much less so in urban areas. I have not actually seen it done.

ATHINA
Would you leave if you found out that he was going out with another woman?
That would not be wise. The right thing is to show him where he went wrong and encourage him to change. Secondly, a satisfied man rarely meanders. Is such a thing happens, you revisit love notes and make sure love is back on the right track. But I do not believe a pastor can do that.
When he annoys you, how long does it take you to make up?
I always make efforts to make up whether it is him or me in the wrong. Above all, a woman is expected to submit to her husband.
What is the secret in him?
First of all, he is my best friend. Secondly, he behaves as if he is my father. I believe that is what every woman would want in a man.

I’m not writing this post to get all angry feminist bitchy on you, though of course reading stuff like this in the paper gets me worked up. I understand that I’m coming at such gender issues from a Western perspective and there’s little I can do or say here to change thousands of years of tradition. I actually do enjoy, on some level, finding interviews like this not just because it’s a fascinating cultural study, but also because it helps me to better understand why people cheer at me when I drive down the road, why the Bin-It guy won’t take me seriously by ever actually showing up, why our landlord and the car dealership guy and the refrigerator guy and every other guy will only speak to J when I’m standing right there and seem a little surprised if I deign to ask a question. This goes both ways: When Jo. did our laundry the other day, it rained in the afternoon and she had to take the clothes off the line while they were still wet. J and I together re-hung the damp clothes the next morning. There were two guys cutting grass behind our apartment and gave J some questioning looks. I suppose it’s not often they see a man doing laundry.

J has tried to tell me that I can’t take The New Vision too seriously. That the views expressed therein are not necessarily representative of the majority. Still, I find it a little frightening that both pastors interviewed are teaching and encouraging their congregations to follow such views.

But, you know, I don’t really like to argue with my husband. I’m sure he’s right.